Inside/Outside

Today is my four-month anniversary in Costa Rica. Happy monthiversary to me! It´s strange to think that I´ve been here that long - the usual rush and drag of time applies.

Often, people ask me how I learned my Spanish.  The answer is sort of drawn out: I took classes in high school and college, and studied abroad in Perú.  I always hesitate to add the last bit, due to some serious neglect of opportunity there that I think I´ve mentioned here before.  No doubt, I spoke more Spanish in Perú than I do in the States, but given the amount of time I spent there, the boost my Spanish got from the experience is laughable.  Similar things could be said about my interaction with real live Peruvians.

I´ve known for years that I wanted to reverse that model the next time I traveled, and planned accordingly for Costa Rica.  It´s paid off more than I could have imagined.  My Spanish has evolved and is evolving in ways that I am truly proud of.  The other day, discussing Spanish with a new acquaintance who is attempting to learn the language, I compared the difference between my Spanish when I arrived and my Spanish now to the difference between cheap boxed white wine and a bottle of Shiraz.  (Costa Rica doesn´t produce any wine to speak of - can you tell I miss it?)

More than that, however, I believe the most valuable part of this focusing on the language and the people has come in relationships.  Returning to San Isidro the other day, I climbed onto the bus for La Ribera tired and grumpy because the bus was unusually crowded.  Standing in the aisle and starting to feel sweat trickle down my back, I felt a tug on my skirt.  Luz, my host mom, smiled up at me.  From beside me, two of my host sisters said "Caroliiiiiina!" and one popped up from her seat to give me a hug.  Space was immediately cleared for me, stacking the youngest daughter on top of the older one.  And I burst into a smile.  What a difference being welcomed, being named, can mean.

As you all know, I am taking a course a few hours from my home here that requires me to spend three nights a week in Heredia.  The first weekend I stayed in a hotel a few blocks from the school and spent my nights wallowing in CNN in English.  Important, refreshing, but ultimately lonely.  This weekend I was lucky enough to stay with Memo´s sister Ana, who studies there.  True to Costa Rican generosity, she welcomed me into her busy life, housed me, fed me, talked my ear off, and celebrated Valentine´s Day with me by buying me an ice cream cone and openly sharing her views on love and machismo.  Instead of carrying  a styrofoam to-go plate to my hotel room and watching news all night, I snacked on papaya and papusas and listened to the latest work gossip from one of her two jobs.  Once again, I was allowed inside.

Walking with my classmates at the TESL institute as we go to lunch has really put this into sharp contrast for me.  With them, I am always "outside."  We travel in a group, speak English, and generally have a bubble of space left for us as we move from place to place.  There is nothing inherently wrong with this - one cannot learn the language for each place he or she wants to visit, nor is there something wrong with traveling with others.  But I am more thankful than ever for the moments of everyday Costa Rican life that my choices here have afforded me.

(Happy Valentine´s Day everyone.  Hope you let people you love know it!)